Ice Cream
by Smoochynose
Summary: Roy Mustang saw no harm in treating the kid to an ice-cream. Then he mentioned the main ingridient.


**Ice-cream**

Roy Mustang looked down at the small seven-year-old beside and then to the panicked mother running off in search of her younger son whilst she left her eldest in the care of a uniformed officer.

Sometimes he wondered how he got himself into situations like this. He wasn't even on duty. He'd decided to take a short walk in the park on the way home, making an effort to be one of those healthy people he did stuff like that, and somehow he had gained a child for his efforts.

"So kid, what's your name?"

The kid's eyes furrowed, as if thinking deeply. "Are you calling me short?" he asked, defensive anger slipping into his voice.

How in the world did he get that from Roy asking the kid his age? Although now he thought about it, the kid was pretty small. As he mused that last part aloud, he was startled by the reaction that it gained.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT A MOUSE LOOKS LIKE A HORSE IN COMPARRISON?"

Roy bit back a laugh at the overreaction. It was pretty amusing. He briefly wondered if he could get the kid to do it again before deciding not to antagonise a small child left in his care.

"So are you going to tell me your name?"

The kid crossed his arms, amber eyes narrowing, and his face setting in a scowl. "You haven't told me yours yet."

"Captain Roy Mustang."

The kid mumbled something that he must have misheard because kids don't know those words yet, do they?

"So am I going to get a name?"

"Ed," the boy replied reluctantly.

"What's your brother called, Ed?"

"Al."

There was an awkward moment of silence. Surely the kid would speak soon, Roy thought, Kids can't stay quiet for long. However looking at Ed and the stubborn frown on the boy's face, Roy knew that he must have the one kid that was the exception to that rule.

"So what do you like to do, Ed?"

For a moment the internal debate about whether to answer or not appeared on the boy's face.

"Alchemy," the boy finally said reluctantly.

Huh, Roy thought, wasn't expecting that. Though come to think of it, he probably should have. After all what young boy wouldn't be impressed with something that seemed a lot like magic?

"That's cool. I'm a state alchemist, you know."

If Roy had been expecting to impress the kid he was proven wrong in the next moment when the kid opened his mouth. "A state alchemist. So you're a dog of the military?"

Would it be so terrible if the brat went missing along with his brother?

"Shorty," Roy said vindictively.

The kid actually growled. God that was amusing.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SHORTY? I'M STILL GROWING!"

Oh god, Roy thought, It's even funnier the second time.

After Ed had calmed down he glared up at Roy. "I don't like you."

"Let's hope your mother finds your brother soon then."

The kid huffed and turned away, obviously not pleased with Roy's reaction to his declaration. What was he supposed to do? Weep at the loss of a child not liking him and beg for forgiveness? Though Roy guessed the brat's attitude could be coming from the fact his brother was missing and his mother had abandoned him with a complete stranger.

And damn it! Now he was making himself feel guilty.

He glanced around the park, wondering what there was to distract the kid with and found an ice-cream stand. He smirked. There was no way the kid could stay moody with him.

"Hey kid, want an ice-cream?"

The kid looked puzzled. "What's that?"

Where had this kid been all his life? Though looking the kid over, he did have the touristy look. So most likely he was from one of the smaller towns or villages. Novelties such as ice-cream hadn't reached all of them just yet.

"Come on, I'll get you one," he said leading the kid over to the stand. "What flavour do you want: vanilla, chocolate, or strawberry?"

The kid looked at the stand suspiciously but at the magic word was unable to resist.

"Chocolate."

"Right," Roy nodded, quickly buying two ice-creams – chocolate for the kid and vanilla for himself.

The boy made no move to eat it, still watching Roy suspiciously. Seriously what kid had an ice-cream in front of them and wouldn't touch it? One that hasn't had one before and is half expecting some kind of trick.

Roy sighed at the effort being kind to the kid was taking and took a long obvious lick of the ice-cream. There, he thought, now will you just eat the damn thing kid?

Seeing that the ice-cream did no harm to Roy, the kid did indeed take a lick of his own. Narrowed distrustful eyes widened in surprise and delight. After that the kid had no problems eating the ice-cream, licking away with the further of an ordinary child.

"I guess that means you like it, kid?"

Ed just nodded, too busy with his treat.

This time the silence that fell between them was in no way awkward. Not to mention Roy couldn't help but notice a cute redhead and her friend giggling at him and exchanging glances at the kid. Apparently looking after the brat made him look more attractive to the women. Who knew?

Maybe looking after the brat wasn't so bad after all.

Looking back at the kid and the mess he was making caused Roy to cringe. "Hey kid, turn it around and lick the other side. It's about to melt all over your hand."

The kid did so. "It melts?" he asked, taking another mouthful.

"Of course it melts. It's just frozen milk."

The kid froze. Then just as suddenly spat the ice-cream out and threw the cone away from himself. Unfortunately for Roy he was stood directly in its flight path. He winced as the ice-cream buried into his uniform. That's going to stain, he thought miserably.

He turned to the kid, ready to chastise him angrily but the kid got there first, shouting at Roy.

"MILK? You fed me milk. You sick bastard – Captain Bastard! What kind of manipulative sicko tricks a poor innocent kid into eating milk?"

If Roy hadn't just had an ice-cream thrown at him and been sworn at by a seven-year-old he would have been amused. As it was anger won out over amusement.

"Why'd you throw your ice-cream at me?" he demanded in the sternest voice he could muster.

The kid was unfazed. "You fed me milk, bastard."

And the cute redhead that had been approaching left in disgust hearing the kid swear.

"Milk is good for you. It'll make you grow."

The kid looked torn between defending his height and preaching the evilness of milk. The latter won out, probably because to the kid it was the more pressing issue at the moment.

"Milk is vile. Disgusting. Who the hell makes a poor innocent kid eat milk? It's an opaque, white liquid secreted from a cow! What kind of sick, perverted man are you?"

And dear god, the kid was drawing a crowd and he was going to look like some kind of child molester if the kid kept up with that last description of him. And please don't let that be one of the police heading his way. What had he done to do this? He was a good person. He had even bought the demon child an ice-cream. And –

"Edward Elric, apologise to that man at once."

Roy had never been so relieved to hear anyone's voice before in his life.

"But he fed me milk," the child protested as his mother returned, holding tightly onto the hand of her youngest son (a bit tearstained but none the worse for his ordeal).

"Edward," the warning was clear in her voice, perfected in the way only mothers' could get it.

"Sorry … Captain Bastard."

"Edward, get here right now. I've told you not to use that word. Are we going to have to have another talk when we get home?"

The kid slunk miserably over to the woman, firmly put in his place.

The mother looked profusely embarrassed over the kid's behaviour. "I am so sorry. He's never normally like this. I don't know what's got into the boy."

"Milks got into me," the boy whispered in disgust from his mother's side. She shot him a look, silencing him.

"Thank you so much for looking after him for me. I don't know what I would have done."

"It was no problem ma'am," he said smiling at the mother, lying through his teeth.

The kid scowled even more fiercely in his direction upon noticing his mother blush at Roy's charm. And Roy was pretty sure the kid mouthed "bastard" at him from outside his mother's line of sight.

"Thank you again but I really have to hurry if we're going to make our train."

"It was a pleasure to meet you." Less so her son.

"Likewise." She turned to the boys. "Come on Edward, Alphonse. If we hurry and make the train there may even be time to visit Winry when we get back. That is if you behave." That last remark was directed at Edward in particular.

As Roy watched them hurry off into the throng of people in the neighbouring street he couldn't help but smile. For such a frustrating brat he had been pretty amusing.

Not that he ever wanted to see the brat again.

Because he didn't.

Ever.


End file.
